Questions and Answers
What happens initially at a session?
When we first meet, we discuss what you want from this work. I can send you a questionnaire beforehand so that I have some information already if you would like. We will probably also have had a phone conversation before we meet.
I will be as honest and clear as possible about what the forms of massage, bodywork, healing meditation and ritual are and how they may help you. If I feel that I am not the best person to help; then I will suggest others and if you wish, refer you to them. We will of course discuss boundaries; yours and mine. Sessions generally start with a Namaste to honour the Divine in each to us. The we invoke any teachers, guides or goddesses you have to protect and support you.
Why would any woman trust such deep, vulnerable and sacred parts to a man when she may have been hurt, and possibly abused by men?
It is precisely because of this that there is a deep hunger in many women for a different experience. Healing often happens from a combination of a new experience whilst connecting to the old experience in order to let go of it. Traditional therapy focuses on working through pain and trauma; tantra offers the additional possibility that experiences of pleasure and bliss can heal and dissolve long-held pain. See my article on Men as Healers of Women for more on this.
What is involved?
Every person is unique and every encounter different, so this simple question is hard to answer. I always starting by meeting you to find out what you want. The principles are simply, witnessing and honouring your feminine essence which is basically radiance; the radiance of Shakti, the Divine Goddess, of energy, beauty and passion and removing anything which gets in the way of that happening. The practices are all based in those principles and the qualities of Shiva. They could include;
There is a much longer list in the Menu of Possibilities section.
Do I have to take my clothes off?
Many exercises can be done fully clothed; as sight, sound, breath and visualisations are powerful ways of being moved. Touch can be done through clothes. Everything that happens is with respect for your boundaries so nothing is involved that you do not want. However, fear can cause us to use our boundaries as a way of staying in, safe, familiar, contracted and stuck places. As with any massage, the less clothes the better, as the skin is a great receiver of touch - the primary language of the body. Shame causes us to hide and contract and tantra gives us the tools and the permission to expand and radiate our true nature. This needs to be witnessed in a safe, clear and sacred space.
If it will help you to feel safe then it is OK to have a friend come as a "chaperone". For some people and some issues it actually helps to feel that you are being witnessed and that support immediately after the session is available.
How much do you charge and how long is a session?
I don’t want to exclude anyone who sincerely wants to change and yet I also need to honour myself, my experience and my needs. it is an impossible conundrum in a market-driven society. This sacred work is beyond price however, practically, my rate is based on £75 an hour (less outside London) and sessions need to be at least one and a half hours long; two hours is necessary for the first session and is generally better for all sessions. This price is fraction of what many women doing “tantric massage” charge and needs to be seen as an investment in your future.
If you genuinely can’t afford this , then we can discuss what is possible for you. If you would prefer to have an initial session to meet and discuss our work together then one hour is enough for that. For healing work it is best to think of a series of at least three sessions to allow the therapeutic relationship to deepen and to have a sense of being held on the journey of healing.
Why do you do this work?
After many years as a conventional therapist, I realised that by working directly with the sexual and erotic energy of the body, healing and growth can be speeded up. This is sacred work which requires a good deal of maturity and self-knowledge to do. I have worked as a therapist, trained and supervised therapists, am a father of two grown sons and one stepdaughter, travelled and learnt with tantric teachers in the west and in India over 25 years. See About Me for more information.This work is powerful, often awesome; moving in to sacred spaces to meet the Goddess. It is an honour to witness and be given such trust. I am not doing this to meet my own sexual needs. See the page on Ethical Principles.
Can you say more about what you can offer?
It really depends on you; I am bringing may years of training and experience in therapy and bodywork together with tantra and knowledge of sexuality. I discuss with you what brought you and about your wishes and intentions for the session. I support a process to unfold based on your desires, your intentions and your boundaries. The page on a menu of possibilities has some ideas See page on A "Menu" of Possibilites . I do not offer “sexual services”, surrogacy, dating partner etc.
Do you use oils?
I use raw organic coconut oil from Sri Lanka or Philippines which feels lovely and rich and has a similar constitution to the natural oils of the skin. For scar tissue I can use organic castor oil. If you dislike oils I can also use powder.
If you have any questions do phone or email and ask me; 07973 504121
or email; firstname.lastname@example.org
Shivoham © 2020
Re-connect with aliveness in 2021 Zoom or, when possible, in person session
07973 504 121
Tantric Healing Massage